My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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