dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
