Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
