Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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