im gay
i know
yea but for you.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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