how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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