There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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