honey bunches of taint.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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