So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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