I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
