im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
