i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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