let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
