Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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