i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
