I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
