K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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