i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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