i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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