he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
