I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
