Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
