Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
