laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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