Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
