Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
there is glitter all over my balls
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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