I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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