remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
