I should be sponsored by Trojan
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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