i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
