i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize