i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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