so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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