forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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