she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
