currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
