There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize