At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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