just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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