the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
