Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
