I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
