sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
