I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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