hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
