I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
