Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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