he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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