wat bout pragnant strippers??
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize