Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
