just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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