Where did you get a picture of my penis
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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