She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
