Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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